When it comes time to buy Christmas presents or holiday gifts for siblings, parents often wonder how best to avoid sibling jealousy. Children tend to compare their Christmas gifts or holiday presents with those received by their brothers and sisters, and soon parents find themselves refereeing fights over who got the biggest and best present. Solutions should be tailored to the individual needs of each family situation and each child, but here are some ideas to help parents plan gift-giving so siblings get along better when receiving presents.
Buy Siblings the Same Number of Christmas Presents or Holiday Gifts
Some parents find it easiest to make sure that each child receives an equal amount of presents. This is especially true in situations where families take turns opening presents. If everyone has the same number of gifts, then no one runs out of things to open before other people. On the other hand, it can be hard sometimes for parents to find equal numbers of good gifts for each child, and if one child wants an expensive toy, parents may have to waste money giving that child many cheap items that he or she does not actually want just to make the number of presents that child receives is equal to that of a sibling receiving several modestly priced items.
Buy Siblings Presents of Equal Value
Another strategy is to set an equal budget for how much to spend on each child. In The Baffled Parent’s Guide to Sibling Rivalry [McGraw-Hill, 2003], Marian Edelman Borden notes that while the number of presents is most important to younger children, as children get older they understand the value of money and can tell if siblings are receiving more expensive presents than they are. In this case, children may total up the value of their Christmas gifts or holiday presents and calculate whether a sister's bike is equal to the roller blades and books a brother received.
Treat Siblings As Individuals When Buying Presents
Some parents try to reduce sibling jealousy by purchasing children identical presents. If one child is getting a new toy, the other children get the same exact toy. Not all children will want the same things, however. In fact, in The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Siblings [adams media, 2006], Linda Sonna, Ph.D., notes that one way to get around sibling rivalry and the need children have to compare what they have with someone else is to treat each child like his or her own person.
Sonna suggests that instead of getting children identical presents, parents should select presents based on each child’s individual interests. One child might get a musical instrument and another a set of construction blocks. By getting children such different presents and stressing how each present was chosen with thought and care for that individual child, parents can divert children's attention away from what other kids got and focus children's attention more on how the presents they have received personally fulfill their own wants and needs.
With a little preparation, parents can make receiving gifts a fun experience instead of one full of competition and bad feelings. The most important thing to keep in mind is to be flexible and to change the rules of present-giving from year to year to suit children's current needs. Doing so will reduce sibling jealousy and help children appreciate what they have and be happy that their siblings are receiving nice presents as well.
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