Factors That Can Influence Birth Order Behavior
Dr. Kevin Leman Says Parents, Gender Can Change Birth Order Role
Jul 29, 2009
World renowned psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book' [Baker Publishing Group, 2004], says there's a link between where children rank among siblings, kids' behavior & career choices.
According to Dr. Leman, eldest children tend to be leaders and high achievers.
Middle children are known for their good listening and negotiating skills.
Last born children are often the entertainers in the family.
When the Formula Doesn’t Fit
Dr. Leman says there are a number of variables that influence kids’ personalities regardless of the order in which they are born.
He says the gender or health of a child as well as the behavior of one or more parent can have a big effect on the way youngsters learn to function within the family and the outside world.
The Critical-eyed Parent
Dr. Leman says a parent who relentlessly criticizes a child, especially the eldest, can dramatically alter the youngster’s path to becoming a reliable, conscientious leader.
“If the first born grows up with a critical-eyed parent, guest what? The first born doesn’t fill out the paradigm or the model of what a first born should be like,” said Dr. Leman in a recent telephone interview. “When you see that, a couple things happen. If there’s a child…two or three years behind them, for example, that second born will leap frog over the first born to, of course, the first born’s detriment. You’ll see what we call a roll reversal.”
Dr. Leman says the first born will often become a slob and shun responsibility.
“The first born is messy. The first born starts a lot of projects and doesn’t finish them. They’re procrastinators par excellence,” he said. “The critical-eyed parent is one that should be addressed and dealt with in a serious manner because it can have a very detrimental effect on the first born child.”
Dr. Leman says the critical-eyed parent is a “huge variable” that he sees a lot in families.
In fact, he wrote a book, When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough [Baker Publishing Group, 2007], to address the issue.
Gender, Health & Big Age Gaps
Birth order and behavior has variables including gender and health issues.
“Sex is one of the variables that effect birth order. As are physical differences, you’ve got one kid who’s emotionally or physically challenged in the number one position, I’ve got news for you – the number two child is going to function as a first born,” said Dr. Leman.
According to Dr. Leman, there can be two or more first born personalities within a family. For example, an eldest daughter will assume a leadership role. If she’s followed by the birth of a male sibling, the boy will often also exhibit the traits of a first born child.
If parents wait long enough to have their last child, the baby of the family could also have a first born or even an only child personality.
“If there’s a large gap – a gap of five years – between the births of especially same sex children, you can draw a line psychologically and start a new family. In many families, you’ll find more than one first born personality in that given birth order,” said Dr. Leman.
More Information
Learn more information about Dr. Leman’s work.
You can also link to this article: How Birth Order Affects Your Personality
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