Help a child’s stay connected to friends and keep the relationships growing. Once a child makes friends it's time to learn to strengthen the bonds.
Build Communication Skills
Encourage listening skills. Can a child recall three new things he or she learned through listening after playing with a friend? Could the child fill a journal page about what the friend said and did that made him or her smile? Discuss listening with empathy and not laughing over confidences but keeping them private unless it's a matter involving danger.
Promote words that build bonds and trust. Compliment a child’s friends to set an example. Encourage children to be kind, complimentary, and encouraging.
Problems will occur and so will fights. Instead of blaming friends over problems, teach children to make I-statements. For example, “I’m tired of losing this game, Let’s find something else to do.” Help children learn words of forgiveness. Practice words of apology and words that ask if something is wrong. Help a child notice when someone looks hurt.
Encourage Children to Avoid Common Problems With Friends
Head off jealousy and competition. Teach children to be thankful for blessings and rejoice in friend’s blessings. Children compete to be recognized and to feel capable. Help children respect friends, notice talents, and affirm a friends' abilities.
Eliminate control issues. Help children share choices with friends, without always giving in or insisting on being in charge every time. Teach children to use words that open up sharing, such as “I want you to have the first choice”, “let’s share”, and “I like your ideas and hope you’ll like mine too.”
Nurture friendship that spills over to other people. Friends can try to be exclusive and keep out others. Instead let them draw wider circles of friends and include a few extras for activities. Encourage children to invite newcomers over. Try and keep numbers even to avoid one-person feeling left out.
Teach conflict resolution. Equip children with steps to solve problems. Help them identify the real problem, express it in an I-statement, brainstorm solutions, and choose a compromise or satisfactory plan to resolve the issue.
Build Memories that Strengthen Bonds
Fuel the growth of laughter and shared memories. Help youngsters think of what makes him or her smile or laugh and how they can share those activities or fun thoughts with a friend. Help children think of good things to do with friends. Discuss sharing favorite books, movies, and games. Talk about ideas of working together to help one another grow good minds. Make sure children have time to spend with friends to connect and build memories by being together.
Encourage Safety In Friendships
Children need safe places to hang out with friends and rules that keep them sheltered from negative influences.
- Shelter children from negative influences by supervising choices of movies, TV, games, computer access, and music.
- Help youngsters create a layer of protection from bullies by teaching them to support one another.
- Give kids a covering of good memories with photos and mementos of good times together.
- Encourage a child of faith to pray for friends.
- Create a safe harbor open for friends to gather. Stock the pantry with healthy snacks, have a comfortable area for play, and keep sports equipment and games accessible.
- Get to know parents of a child’s friends. Invite them in when dropping off/picking up children.
Friends give children a sense of belonging and community. Buddies stick together through craziness, problems, heartaches, and fun. Equipping a child with good communication, problem solving skills, and rules for safety to help them make lasting friendships.
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