How to Help Child Cousins Stay in Touch
Build Strong Friendships Between Cousins by Keeping Them Connected
When families are spread out around the world and members gather together only rarely during the year, cousins can become strangers. Instead of laying the groundwork for strong childhood relationships that can grow into firm adult friendships, cousins may instead pass what little time they spend together either fighting with each other or ignoring each other.
Often conflicts arise between cousins simply because they know so little about one another. Parents who want their children to get along with the children of their siblings should make sure that all the cousins stay in touch throughout the year. That way, cousins are not starting from scratch each time they meet.
Use Conversation to Encourage a Child’s Interest in His or Her Cousins
Children look to their parents for ideas for how to behave. Parents who want to teach children the value of family should model an interest in the lives of extended family members.
- Discuss cousins’ activities with a child, comparing and contrasting the experiences of the cousins with the child’s own experiences. For example, compare sports a cousin plays or hobbies in which he or she is interested with activities in which the child is participating.
- Bring up exciting upcoming events in a cousin’s life and discuss often what he or she might be doing on a certain day.
Use Telephone Calls and the Internet to Help Cousins Keep in Touch
New developments in information and communications technology and social networking websites are bringing people all over the world in closer contact. Technologically-savvy parents can take advantage of these resources to help their children keep up-to-date on the latest developments in their cousins’ lives in the following ways:
- Allowing cousins to make phone calls back and forth at regularly scheduled times to talk about their lives.
- Setting up safe, parentally-monitored e-mail accounts for cousins. While children are still young, form the habit with siblings and sibling-in-laws of e-mailing messages and photos of all the cousins back and forth periodically. Keep children acquainted with what their cousins look like and what activities and hobbies the cousins enjoy doing. When children are older, encourage them to compose and send their own messages to their cousins.
- Set up a password-protected family website and help children from each branch of the family create pages to tell about themselves and their interests. Read and update the website often.
- Assist cousins in holding face-to-face videoconferences over the Internet during which they can see each other as they discuss what is going on in their lives.
- Supervise cousins as they join a social networking website such as Facebook and use it to communicate information about their lives to each other.
Use the Postal System to Help Cousins Keep in Touch
Although computers are a fast and easy way to communicate, snail mail cards, letters, and packages are also fun and practical ways to foster closer bonds.
- Make an effort to send cards, letters, and/or presents to cousins to mark special occasions and major holidays such as birthdays, graduations, Valentine’s Day, or Halloween. Get children involved in selecting presents, crafting cards, and writing special personal messages to their cousins.
- Teach children from an early age to make, write, and send thank-you notes to cousins for gifts they have received from the cousins, sharing concrete details about how children are enjoying using the presents.
- Read together and save in a special folder any thank-you notes that cousins send in return.
Parents can use daily conversation, technology, and the mail system to make cousins a part of a child’s life. Then, as children grow older, all of the cousins will be excited to see each other and become much more likely to form true friendships that will last beyond infrequent family gatherings into adulthood.
Check out How to Help Cousins Get Along at Family Events, How to Plan for a Holiday Visit with Cousins, and Activities to Keep Cousins Busy at Family Events for more ideas on how to help cousins become good friends.
Child Cousins Can Mail Each Other Drawings
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