Minimize Sibling Rivalry and Fighting
Anger and Resentment Between Children Must be Controlled
Jun 27, 2009
A normal, caring sibling relationship is important for children in their early years and possibly more important as time goes by. Fighting and arguing between brothers and sisters can indeed affect adulthood.
Listen to Children
When a child complains another is controlling, starting fights and name-calling, listen to each side completely. Children complaining about these types of issues are not tattling; they are crying out for help. Through basic listening, the root of the problem is sure to appear, can be worked on and resolved. Also, make a daily habit of listening even if there are no problems or complaints between siblings.
Don't Let Belittling Language Start
Making fun of a sister's hair, mannerisms or clothing is hurtful. Be sure to tell the other child in a loving way how disappointing that behavior is and how damaging that can be to a young girl's self-esteem. Be involved in the offending child's life and try to help by coming up with another activity to divert attention away from useless things like picking on other people.
Resolve Sibling Disagreements Quickly
Small disagreements can escalate in a hurry and build to eruptible levels over weeks or months. Disturbing insults are soon hurled and fighting ensues. Be there to discuss with children how to have an argument correctly and that it is OK to disagree. When little problems turn into bigger deals, those problems get harder to work out. Also make sure to get the point across to children that while everyone has arguments, the important thing is to learn from them, understand how the other person feels and try to prevent these issues from happening again.
Mediate Children’s Arguments
This will be a timeout in addition to a problem-solving session. Hopefully, after a breather and discussion between all parties, the problem will appear to be nothing serious, and friendlier relations can carry on.
The Importance of Unconditional Love
Nothing a child does is so serious that parents have to stop loving that child. Be sure each child involved in something displeasing knows he/she is still loved and a good kid, but that the displeasing activity must not continue.
Learn Parenting Roles
Fathers have a unique, important role. Coming home from work tired is no reason to not work on building a better relationship with children. Try a relaxing activity like reading a book together before dinner. Dads will see their efforts lead to successful, well-adjusted teenagers and adults, but invest the time now, every day.
Help for Parents
Nobody has all the answers, but a community can really help with raising children. Pastors, grandparents, neighbors and teachers are all available resources. Add their information to existing knowledge and decide the best way to proceed. Be creative with ways to solve the problems among children and therefore, in the home.
Developing good interpersonal habits early in the lives of children equips them with the tools they will need for each relationship throughout their lives. Don't underestimate the value of talking problems over in a rational way, and watch the resulting better times.
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