Siblings Cooperate to Design a Shared Bedroom
Kids Build Strong Sibling Relationships, Learn Cooperation Skills
Feb 27, 2009
There are many benefits to having siblings share a bedroom, and parents can ensure that the sharing will go well by making sure fair rules are established for the room-sharing and by turning the experience of setting up a shared bedroom into a fun project that the siblings can complete together.
Why Have Siblings Cooperate on a Project?
One key to helping children build strong sibling relationships is to have them spend time together. By talking to and interacting with each other, siblings get to know each other, develop strong sibling bonds, and build a trove of shared memories and positive experiences.
One way to have siblings share quality time together is to assign them a shared project. William Sears, M.D., Martha Sears, R.N., and Elizabeth Pantley suggest in The Successful Child [Little, Brown and Company, 2002] that giving siblings tasks to complete together will require them to learn cooperation skills and help them develop the ability to get along with others.
Energy that might otherwise be spent bickering is channeled toward a positive common goal. Kids gain practical experience with establishing a working relationship with another person in which both kids offer suggestions and actively participate and neither overrules the other one too much.
Siblings Cooperate to Design a Shared Bedroom
Since siblings will be the ones using a shared bedroom, it makes sense (within reason!) to allow them to be the ones to figure out how space will be shared, how toys will be stored, what furniture will be used, and how the walls will be decorated. Talking things through to reach an agreement about each of these issues will help siblings learn to cooperate and work together to reach a shared goal.
Siblings should be allowed to work through problems on their own as much as possible. However, to set the project up for success, parents should provide siblings with the tools they will need to complete it and check in from time to time to make sure that neither child is being too bossy and that issues are being decided fairly.
How Parents Can Help Siblings Divide Up a Shared Bedroom Fairly
Before setting siblings loose to plan, parents should hold a discussion to get them thinking about what the room will be used for and how it can be divided fairly. Good examples of room-sharing drawn from literature can help.
If possible, parents can track down and share the book This Room Is Mine by Betty Ren Wright [Whitman, 1966]. In this funny story, a younger sister uses her jump rope to split in half the bedroom she shares with her older sister, then realizes that she is trapped because the door out of the room is on her sister's side. The younger sister imagines what the rest of her life will be like on her side of the room, picturing herself raising tons of children there and pulling up through her window any company she might have come to visit. Children can learn from this story that each roommate must be able to enter and exit the room and have access to necessities such as a closet and a window.
Another book to share while planning a shared children's bedroom is Not Enough Room! by Joanne Rocklin [Scholastic, 1998]. This book teaches math skills while telling the story of two sisters who use tape and graph paper to experiment with various solutions for how to divide up fairly the space in their shared bedroom.
Resources for Planning a Shared Bedroom Space
Younger children can sketch plans on graph paper or use a room design kit such as Room and Furniture Layout Kit by Muncie Hendler [Dover Publications, 1981] or Home Quick Planner: Reusable, Peel & Stick Furniture & Architectural Symbols by Daniel K. Reif [Design Works, 1993]. Older children (ages 9 and up) may enjoy using a room designing kit such as Interior Design Studio, with which they can trace and design furniture.
Through the process of designing a shared space, siblings will get to know each other better through talking to each other and listening to each other's viewpoints. Instead of spending time fighting, siblings learn cooperation skills and develop important life skills like getting along and working together toward a common goal. The end result is stronger sibling bonds...and a new bedroom space that meets the needs of both children and will foster future sharing and bonding.
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